Fitting in…

It’s not quite eleven o’clock tonight. I spent the day after five thirty at the parking lot, and later the actual building, of the Santa Fe Opera House. There was a great group of people I hung out with, a lesbian group. To say I needed to unwind and let loose is somewhat of an understatement. I’ve had decidedly itchy skin for a week now. It’s stress induced. My dad has been ill and it won’t be long before he is no longer on this earth. I’ve known that for about a month now and it’s no easier now than when I first learned of the news. We are all okay with the news, we have made our peace, but it’s still shit ass news. It still sucks to deal with. I”m still losing my dad at the time when I finally felt like he was treating me like his daughter.

Melissa Ethridge, a bunch of lesbians, a good amount of champagne and Canadian whiskey. Now that makes a night! Makes one forget and just enjoy the time that is passing. I’ve been in Santa Fe now for four months or so. I didn’t start meeting friends until a couple months ago and for a few weeks of that I have been gone. So these friends are new. They don’t know me that well. They do know what I am dealing with.

There are places I have lived where I have felt comfortable. There are places where I have made good friends. There are places I’ve lived where I never made any friends. To be in a community where I am accepted, loved and allowed to be who I am in such short order is something I have always dreamed of. The appreciation and love for the people I have found is very true and very real; very needed.

Life isn’t easy, we all know that. It throws curve balls and sends you on wild goose chases all at the same time. Finding a place where you fit in is a blessing and necessity in life. It’s not exactly what I envisioned when I thought of what I wanted in a place to settle down. People have their quirks and baggage. People are not so glamorous as in your dreams(ie. Bo derek running on the beach is not here). But hear in Santa Fe, the ladies I have found are beautiful. They are the most gorgeous people anyone could hope to find.

I looked at the crowd tonight as we sat in the opera house parking lot, I was sipping champagne from my mason jar. People were talking, laughing, extending warm gestures. The sun was shining on us and the mountains were bathed with some of the most beautiful light I have ever witnessed. What I felt was a sense of family, of home, of peace. So thank you ladies. Thank you for inviting me in and accepting me. Thank you for supporting me in a time when my life seems more up in the air than ever, and more grounded than I could have dreamed in a time when I am anything but grounded.

This entry was posted in experiences, friends and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply