This is a new section of my website. I don’t want to delete or overwrite the other sections that were made pre-transition and are still very helpful to others even though they may not be as pertinent to me anymore. I do want to have a section of the site that explains what is going on with me now.
I haven’t tended to this page much since shortly after I peed standing up on a gorgeous saguaro cactus for the last time in my life. I find that much of the information about my transition, as it relates to where I am now, is out of date and doesn’t apply anymore. I do hope to get back to my blog posts here and how I am dealing with the new issues in life due to my transition.
Mostly, right now I am just happy. I’m not saying that I haven’t had some very difficult stretches of time. No matter how hard life can get I say to myself “at least I don’t have a penis.” As funny as it sounds, it’s a very sobering and comforting thought to me. I am finally me and that is something most people can’t quite understand the power of as they have been themselves forever. It also is a post transition issue for me. I can deal with a lot in my life simply because I’m happy with who I am. It doesn’t mean I should deal with anything. New boundary lines need to be drawn for me, but where? How? Many questions need me to figure out their answers.
The wonderful thing is that my transition has been wildly successful and I almost feel ashamed it has gone so well when the vast majority of people who undergo a transition have so rough of a time. I have had supportive friends and family throughout my entire journey. I have had basically zero bad incidents. Most people are shocked to find out, after they have met me, that I once was a strapping young buck. But why should I be ashamed to be in a life and surrounded by a section of society that acts more in a utopian manor around my situation than what the rest of society acts? Truth is, I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I should be proud of it, and I am for the most part. I guess I am mostly ashamed that it is such a rare thing in this world.
For now, I am happy to just be the woman I have always known myself to be and not the male my body wanted to say I was. As far as I can tell, that is exactly what I am. A woman. I’m just a couple decades of experience behind the eight ball and am trying to catch up in my own way and by my own rules.